Old lineman's pregame chili ends in a portable toilet

Transcript

What BBN said on air in this cut. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyOne fifty-one on the ground!

2. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyEarl, the Mattress Pruitt is here with us, nine seasons backing up at guard and never once carried the football!

3. E"

   Earl "The Mattress" PruittNever once, and proud of it! That Gibbs number decides this game, and I'll tell you why.

4. E"

   Earl "The Mattress" PruittThe guards were pulling left on every one of them!

5. 

   Hank LedgerJacoby Brissett threw for two hundred ninety-two yards and three touchdowns for Arizona, Earl. That's a lot of passing in a game that's lost.

6. E"

   Earl "The Mattress" PruittPassing yards are decoration, son. You win by running the ball down their throats. The Cardinals threw the whole afternoon and still lost by twenty-four.

7. 

   Rex "Two-Point" GridleyTwenty-four? It's twenty-four points and counting, Earl!

8. E"

   Earl "The Mattress" PruittBefore a game in my day, I ate a plate of three-day-old chili. Coach called it carbo loading. I called it a mistake.

9. 

   Hank LedgerThat's the whole story?

10. E"

    Earl "The Mattress" PruittNo! I spent the second quarter inside a portable toilet, and the team won without me. Best game I never played in!