What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyAll rise! Court is in session, case number four-zero-two, and the Packers lead the Bears fourteen to nothing with eight-thirteen left in the second quarter!
Brock ThundersonThe charges, Your Honor: trespassing in the press-box buffet, and aggravated high-fiving! The cheese did both while Green Bay scored twice!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyAggravated high-fiving! In my courtroom! The gavel falls once!
Vera BullockMy client is a wedge of paper and a lovely listener. He only wanted to celebrate with the people.
Brock ThundersonThe people, Vera, were not invited to the buffet! Chicago has three wins and one loss, and this cheese is acting like it's undefeated!
Vera BullockEveryone is allowed to grow! The Packers are two and two, and my client is simply growing with them!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyExhibit A! Jordan Love is eleven of twelve for one hundred yards and a touchdown! That's a lot of high-fiving!
Vera BullockEleven of twelve? That's an alibi.
Brock ThundersonIt's a confession!
Brock ThundersonMarShawn Lloyd rushed for thirty-two yards and a touchdown on six carries, while Christian Watson caught two passes for forty-seven yards and another score!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleyCall the surprise witness! A concession-stand worker, who saw the whole buffet!
Brock ThundersonI saw a cheese by the shrimp, and it high-fived the cocktail sauce. Hard.
Vera BullockCross-examination! Sir, was the cocktail sauce visibly upset, or just red?
Brock ThundersonObjection! The witness is a sauce-based coward and I'm trying to question him!
Rex "Two-Point" GridleySustained! Counsel, stop letting Vera question my witness, even if the sauce is red!
Vera BullockClosing: my client has no alibi, but he has wonderful colors, and yellow is a very forgiving shade.
Brock ThundersonClosing: Chicago has the ball, third and five at its own forty-three, and it's still scoreless. Guilty!
