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▶ The Film Room · Sports
The Film Room

Ex-Punter Has Seen This Film Forty Times

Brissett's 292 yards and three scores vs. Goff's quiet afternoon. The whole segment, as it aired. An NFL guest breaks down the tape. The tape wins.

On air
Rex "Two-Point" Gridley, with Orville Tanager (Former Backup Punter)
Aired
on Monday Morning Quarterback (A Day Early)
Length
2:01
“Brissett by the numbers, Detroit by the scoreboard. I've seen that film forty times and I still can't tell you who won.”
Orville Tanager
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Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

  1. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyLions forty-five, Cardinals twenty-one, and my pick was right, so sit down for the quarterback duel!

  2. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyOrville Tanager, former backup punter, is calling in from his den in Dayton!

  3. Orville TanagerRex, great to be here. I've seen this film, and by this film I mean every film, and my knees are available for comment.

  4. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyHere's the duel! Jacoby Brissett for Arizona went twenty-nine of forty-seven for two hundred ninety-two yards, three touchdowns and one interception!

  5. Orville TanagerThree touchdowns, one pick.

  6. Orville TanagerI've seen this film twice, and it ends the same way every time: the guy throws a lot and the scoreboard shrugs.

  7. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyForty-seven throws, Orville! That's a man throwing from the bottom of a hole!

  8. Orville TanagerA hole I know well. Back at my one training camp, the coach put me in the hole and never told me why.

  9. Orville TanagerI won't say his name.

  10. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyBack to the stats, Orville! Jahmyr Gibbs with twenty-five carries, one hundred fifty-one yards, and two scores!

  11. Orville TanagerGibbs! I've seen this film six times. When the back runs like that, the quarterback is just holding the clipboard of destiny.

  12. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyClipboard of destiny.

  13. Orville TanagerTrademark pending. Sam LaPorta, five catches, I've seen that film nine times, and every time I cry at the part with the tight end.

  14. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyEighty-eight yards and a touchdown, that's the number! But Orville, you gave me quarterback talk with zero quarterback numbers for Detroit.

  15. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyPin it down, how many Brissett touchdowns?

  16. Orville TanagerThree. Three, and I've seen that film twelve times, and in the film he wins, which is where the film and the facts part ways.

  17. Rex "Two-Point" GridleyHe lost by twenty-four, Orville! Detroit's defense and Gibbs buried him!

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