What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Vera BullockNew York Post asks how Texas Senate candidate James Talarico, thirty-seven, is leading after vanishing from the trail for more than ten days with what he says was the flu.
Vera BullockCornelius Haggerty-Vo is a publicist who joins us from a yacht. Why is this working?
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoVera, thanks for having me. What you call a vanishing, I call the narrative of rest.
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoVoters trust a man who is too sick to ask for their vote.
Vera BullockBut he was missing for more than ten days. Doesn't a candidate usually need to be seen?
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoSeen is cheap. The narrative of rest, fourteen days of it, is premium.
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoYou can't buy that kind of scarcity, and I've tried, on this boat.
Vera BullockFourteen? The reporting says more than ten.
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoI round up for the brand. The narrative of rest, three weeks of it, is what separates a candidate from a cough.
Vera BullockThree weeks. So by your logic, the strongest candidate is one nobody ever sees.
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoNow you're getting it. I would put the whole campaign under this cashmere throw, monogrammed, and let the polls do the shouting.
Vera BullockLet me ask you plainly: did you advise the Talarico campaign, yes or no?
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoI can neither confirm nor deny that I was horizontal for any of it. The narrative of rest, a full month, belongs to everybody.
Vera BullockA month. Cornelius, how long would you hide a client?
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoCurrently? I'm on day thirty-one of a flu myself, and the yacht has never been happier.
Vera BullockYou've been on live television for six minutes, Cornelius.
- CH
Cornelius Haggerty-VoWhich is why I'm leading in every poll that matters.
