What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Chip DarnellTime to break down the passing duel in New York, and our film room is live with Lyle Ostrander, who spent eleven seasons as a backup long snapper!
- LO
Lyle OstranderChip, I've snapped a football in anger. Mostly in practice, but in anger. Let me get my marker.
Chip DarnellHere are the facts!
Chip DarnellIn tonight's matchup, Geno Smith completed seventeen passes on thirty attempts for one hundred eighty-two yards and a touchdown, leading the Jets to a seventeen to twelve victory over the Browns!
- LO
Lyle OstranderA hundred eighty-two. My left knee told me that number on Thursday, and it also told me about the rain delay in two thousand six.
Chip DarnellThere was no rain delay tonight, Lyle, but sure! The Browns finished with twelve points, and I want the film-room read on that!
- LO
Lyle OstranderTwelve is a defensive number, Chip. See this red circle on my laminated diagram?
- LO
Lyle OstranderThat's the quarterback, and the blue one is, uh, also the quarterback.
Chip DarnellTwo circles, same guy!
- LO
Lyle OstranderIt's a duel, Chip! One passer, two moods!
- LO
Lyle OstranderMy knee told me that, and it told me about a coach I will not name who cut me over a sandwich!
Chip DarnellA sandwich! Okay, here's the real number, Lyle. Smith was seventeen of thirty, so he missed on thirteen throws. What do you see there?
- LO
Lyle OstranderThirteen incompletions? That's thirteen decoys. My knee told me about decoys, and my knee told me about my cousin's wedding band.
Chip DarnellNow the other side! ESPN says rookie David Bailey had three sacks and eight quarterback pressures, and the Browns passer was running for his life!
- LO
Lyle OstranderEight pressures! That's a rookie with a motor, Chip.
- LO
Lyle OstranderI was a rookie once, for about nine days, until the coach I won't name found my motor.
