New London Animal Control: Rodent Footage Is a Gravel Commute

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockNew London Animal Control is looking for the owner of an animal that was left at the shelter, WFSB reports, and the shelter wants to hear from anyone who recognizes it.

2. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWe don't have the shelter's video, so this is file footage of a small rodent from the archive.

3. 

   Kenji MoonfieldRoll it, look at this guy on the left.

4. 

   Vera BullockIt's gravel, Kenji. He's walking on gravel.

5. 

   Kenji MoonfieldWatch this, he hits center frame and does not blink. That is elite commitment to a gravel commute.

6. 

   Vera BullockRun it back.

7. 

   Kenji MoonfieldThere it goes again, right side of frame, and he never once looks for his owner. Zero separation anxiety.

8. 

   Vera BullockHonestly, he seems fine. Somebody should still claim him, though, because look at him go.

9. 

   Vera BullockViral Score, seven out of ten, because he crossed the whole screen without checking his phone once.