What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Kenji MoonfieldQuick update first: Nasdaq says Microsoft now has three generations of its own AI chips, and that Nvidia is still the chip stock to buy.
Kenji MoonfieldNow, the Wall Street Journal reports Texas Senate hopeful Ken Paxton partied in Dubai with fugitives.
Kenji MoonfieldWith us is consultant Cornelius Abernathy-Voss, who bills four thousand dollars an hour. Sir, is that a good idea?
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossKenji, my firm's finding, after eleven weeks of research, is that you should not party with fugitives. That will be sixty thousand dollars.
Kenji MoonfieldSixty thousand to say don't. What should a candidate do in Dubai instead?
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossPurely hypothetically, check the guest list. Purely hypothetically, the buffet had a lamb station, and the guest list was on a napkin.
Kenji MoonfieldA lamb station. Hypothetically.
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossPurely hypothetically, yes. And purely hypothetically, the fugitives sat at table four, near the fountain, and they tipped well.
Kenji MoonfieldSo you're saying you know where the fugitives sat, and I'm sensing a conflict of interest.
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossI'm saying I'm wearing a laminated wristband under this cuff right now, and it is purely hypothetical.
Kenji MoonfieldSir, you were there. Is this invoice for the campaign, or for you?
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossMy advice to him is also my advice to me, so technically it's a bundle.
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossThat's a ten percent discount, and I am not a fugitive.
Kenji MoonfieldOkay, so what is your professional recommendation for the campaign right now?
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossPurely hypothetically, deny everything, then ask who has the photos, and then ask if they have the angle where I look good.
Kenji MoonfieldThat was four minutes, so I think I owe you sixteen thousand dollars.
- CA
Cornelius Abernathy-VossCash is fine, and the wristband still gets me into the airport lounge, so we're even.
