Macron's Final Stretch: Anonymous Source Reveals Himself in a Parking Garage

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Hank LedgerEmmanuel Macron came into office nearly a decade ago promising to revive France, and The New York Times says he is leaving amid crisis, with the country near a fiscal brink.

2. 

   Hank LedgerA source familiar with the matter joins us tonight from a parking garage. Sir, what can you tell us about the French government?

3. LM

   Lucian MarchettiI can only say it was a gray sedan. Nobody can know I'm here, and I'm not going to say the word Paris.

4. 

   Hank LedgerYou just said Paris.

5. LM

   Lucian MarchettiI said the word Paris? Cut that out.

6. LM

   Lucian MarchettiAnyway, the budget situation is very serious, and I have it on good authority, which is a man named Gary.

7. 

   Hank LedgerSo let me ask you: how close is France to the fiscal brink, and how do you know?

8. LM

   Lucian MarchettiVery close. I can only say it was a gray sedan with a blue parking permit.

9. LM

   Lucian MarchettiAnd there is a sign at the exit that says Brink. Of the ramp.

10. 

    Hank LedgerThe ramp.

11. LM

    Lucian MarchettiI'm a high-level insider. Level three. I can't say more than that, and I've been told to stop saying level three.

12. 

    Hank LedgerBut you didn't answer the question. What do you actually know about Macron's final stretch in office?

13. LM

    Lucian MarchettiI know what you know, which is the headline, plus I read it twice.

14. LM

    Lucian MarchettiI can only say it was a gray sedan, and it was parked crooked, which is how all crises start.

15. 

    Hank LedgerSo the source familiar with the matter is familiar with the headline. For the record, what is your name?

16. LM

    Lucian MarchettiLucian Marchetti, three-oh-one Garage Street, and can you validate my ticket? I've been here since Tuesday.