Talarico Debate Ambush: Senator Takes Credit and Blames the Stage

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Kenji MoonfieldOur next guest is Senator Bartholomew Yeager, here to talk about a CNN debate where Senate candidate Talarico got ambushed by a young Republican star, according to The Daily Beast.

2. 

   Kenji MoonfieldSenator, thanks for being here. Did you see the ambush coming?

3. SB

   Senator Bartholomew YeagerKenji, seeing it coming was my idea.

4. SB

   Senator Bartholomew YeagerI told everyone a fresh young voice would electrify that stage, and it did, with this pen in my hand.

5. 

   Kenji MoonfieldSo you take credit for the ambush.

6. SB

   Senator Bartholomew YeagerI take credit for the energy. The ambush part was the staff's idea, and frankly the moderator's, and the lighting was a county decision.

7. 

   Kenji MoonfieldThe lighting. But you didn't answer the question: was it good for the debate or bad?

8. SB

   Senator Bartholomew YeagerThe ratings were enormous, and that was me. The part where a candidate looked stunned on live television, that was the previous administration.

9. 

   Kenji MoonfieldPrevious administration of what?

10. SB

    Senator Bartholomew YeagerOf the stage. Someone built it badly, and I want that on the record, right next to my pen and my vision.

11. 

    Kenji MoonfieldSenator, you're praising the ambush and blaming the ambush. That's two opposite takes in one answer, bro.

12. SB

    Senator Bartholomew YeagerBoth were my idea. Planning to be blindsided is the most advanced form of leadership, and the staff will confirm I said so.

13. 

    Kenji MoonfieldOne last question. Who ambushed you tonight?

14. SB

    Senator Bartholomew YeagerThis interview was my idea.