Southern California hit by wind, rain and coastal flooding as Rachel…. The whole segment, as it aired. Guests who wandered in, and the anchors who let them.
What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.
Hank LedgerA quick afterthought on football: a team at four and oh being due for a betrayal is the most honest forecast we've had all night.
Hank LedgerSouthern California is taking strong winds, rain and damaging coastal flooding tonight as Rachel makes landfall.
Hank LedgerWith me from FCI Terminal Island is inmate 40718, Cornelius Tabor, a self-taught tide expert.
Cornelius Ambrose TaborThank you, Hank. Sea level is a mood, and tonight the ocean is in a mood about Southern California.
Cornelius Ambrose TaborI have my laminated tide chart right here.
Hank LedgerWhich coastal streets are most at risk from flooding tonight, and what should people do about it?
Cornelius Ambrose TaborStay off the low streets by the water. Lovely little lots, those.
Cornelius Ambrose TaborEleven hundred square feet, ocean views, and walkable to the water at high tide. Very walkable.
Hank LedgerYou said you sold those lots. Is that why you're in a minimum security facility?
Cornelius Ambrose TaborI was in sales, Hank, and the paperwork says a great many things. I never said the lots were dry.
Cornelius Ambrose TaborI said they were coastal.
Hank LedgerSo is that a yes? Were the properties underwater when you sold them?
Cornelius Ambrose TaborOnly at high tide, which happens twice a day. Check my chart. Sea level is a mood, and on Tuesdays it was a bad one.
Hank LedgerTwice a day.
Cornelius Ambrose TaborPlus storms. And with Rachel coming in, I'd say those same lots are having an event. I can still get you a deal on one.
Hank LedgerI'm on live television, in a studio, in a different state.
Hank LedgerDo you want the officials to hear that you're pitching property during a hurricane landfall?
Cornelius Ambrose TaborI'd like to be the official coastal flood adviser, Hank. Think about it: nobody knows these waterlines like the man who sold you the lot.
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