Asus Wi-Fi 8 Router: $900 Trophy Nothing Can Connect To

Transcript

What BBN said on air. Comedy, with fictional anchors.

1. 

   Vera BullockThe first Wi-Fi 8 router is here, and Wired says the Asus ROG Rapture is fabulously fast.

2. 

   Vera BullockNotebookcheck says no consumer phone or laptop can talk to it yet.

3. 

   Rosa TicksHot take! Amazon lists it at eight hundred ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents, and that is the best-looking dollar amount I have seen all year!

4. 

   Rosa TicksThe router is a trophy! Dust it every Sunday and tell the guests it's a Wi-Fi 8 router!

5. 

   Vera BullockNOT. A trophy you can't connect to anything is a very expensive paperweight with a blinking light.

6. 

   Dale BearmanHot take. The standard isn't finalised until twenty twenty-eight, so you're paying for hardware built to a rulebook nobody has finished writing.

7. 

   Dale BearmanBy the time it's done, this thing will be a museum piece.

8. 

   Vera BullockHOT. Notebookcheck lists the standard as not expected until twenty twenty-eight, and that's a fair read of it.

9. 

   Rosa TicksYou ruled his HOT and mine NOT?

10. 

    Vera BullockHis take has a date in it. Yours has a shelf.

11. 

    Dale BearmanThe router is also the only guest at its own party. Nothing else was invited.

12. 

    Rosa TicksI bought one, and it's never once been wrong about the Wi-Fi in this studio, because it has never had any!